Siblings

My daughter Mollie ends up getting a lot of press regarding her food allergies and involvement with my book The BugaBees, so for now, I’m here to give equal representation to her 3-year-old brother Max – the baby of the family and the apple of my eye! Max is “all boy” as they say, and worships Lightning McQueen, Thomas the Train and Curious George. He also has never been tested for food allergies and I’m thinking it’s about time I do some investigating.

Our doctor tells us because there are so many false-positive results in clinical testing alone, the best way to do so is to just give him peanuts, tree nuts, etc. If he has any sort of reaction, then a clinical test will confirm the presence of a food allergy. Sure. No problem. Except there are lots of problems I can envision, which is probably why I haven’t done anything about this in the last three years of Max’s life. :)

First, I am hyper-sensitive about bringing any peanut/tree nut products into our home, so I’m not really excited about doing a “food challenge” in our kitchen or anywhere else in our house for that matter.

Secondly, Mollie and Max are almost always together. I’m not really sure why I feel the need to protect her from my little experiment with him, but in this case, I feel like less is more. The less obvious it is that Max will be in the next room consuming foods she’s allergic to, the more comfortable I think she will feel in general. (Because lets face, 3-year-olds are not exactly pristine eaters. My kitchen floor and dinner table can prove it.)

Thirdly, WHAT IF HE HAS A HORRIBLE REACTION?!? Yes, I have multiple Epi-pens on hand but somehow, I can’t get psyched up to create a situation where I might very likely need to use one. Plus, we live a good 20 minutes from the nearest hospital, so it’s not looking like that will be happening anytime soon.

What do other parents do? I’m dying to know. For now I’m thinking I might just have to meet him in the back alley near our health care clinic with a Nutter Butter in hand and see what happens.

Live and Learn

Our family feels very fortunate to be able to say we absolutely love our pediatric allergist. Dr. Healy is not only extremely well-informed in his vocation, he also has a great rapport with children which makes going to the doctor not really feel like going to the doctor.

Still, as much as he has been able to help teach us how to care for our daughter’s food allergies, he will be the first to say that he does not live with it day in and day out. That’s why I’m here to tell you that support groups can be so important. I must admit, in our first few year’s of Mollie’s diagnosis, I pretty much rejected the idea of them. I pictured everyone sitting around like they do in the AA meetings portrayed on TV where we’d all have to confess our struggles and talk about the doom and gloom of what it’s like living with food allergies.

Since joining the Food Allergy Association of Wisconsin, I am am pleased to say this is not the case! We have great topics of discussion, featured speakers, product samples and other meaningful information to share with each other. Much like those classes you take before childbirth, it’s clear that every person’s experience is different and I love being able to learn from them all.

For example, in a recent meeting, I discovered for the very first time what the side effects can be from an epinephrine shot. I have thankfully never had to use one on my daughter, but a family in our support group explained how they were not so lucky. During their story, I learned that this life saving shot can often turn the child blue or ashen and cause them to tremble and shake…

Really? Of all the hours of using Epi-Pen trainers and talking to our doctor, this little fact never had come up. Until now. And I’m so glad it did, because if I’m ever in that frightening situation myself, I feel like I’ll be a little more prepared to handle it, simply because I’ll know what to expect.

Gina Clowes of www.allergymoms.com has compiled a wonderful, comprehensive listing of support groups that may be in your area. Check it out on (on the bottom of her home page). Thank you, Gina!

So this is my heartfelt pitch to anyone who has never attended a food allergy support group meeting: Consider giving it a try. Even with the best doctor in the world, I think you’ll find you still have something to learn – or better yet, something to share.

Welcome!

Welcome to the first official BugaBees blog post! I will be the first to admit I am far from becoming a social media superstar, but here’s the thing – you bloggers are some serious smart cookies (allergy-free ones of course) and since I have truly learned so much by reading posts of other experts in the know, I thought that if it’s possible help just one other person by sharing my own experiences, why in the world would I not do so?

When I think back to how much I’ve learned from the first day my daughter Mollie was diagnosed with severe food allergies, it is staggering. At that time, I thought if I just carried her Epi-pen, read ingredient labels and remembered to inform wait staff at restaurants of her food allergies, everything would be fine. Four years later, I now know it’s not that simple. There is no black and white in the world of food allergies, just a lot of gray areas where parents need to ask questions and advocate for their children.

I’ve also discovered that there are a lot of people out there who really love peanut butter – enough to fight for it, sign petitions against banning it, and other serious stuff. Some believe that a mere 3% of the population (which equates to approximately 12 million people I must add) should not dictate guidelines that inconvenience the rest, and that “hysterical” parents who fear for their children’s lives should just remove themselves from society to “raise them in a bubble”.

This controversy over food allergies was yet another factor I had not expected but have learned much more about in recent years. I have personally experienced the eye rolls and obvious resistance to making any special accommodations for my daughter where food is concerned. On the flip side, I have also experienced overwhelmingly thoughtful parents and teachers who have gone above and beyond to help her feel included.

So my New Year’s Resolution for 2010 (and every year after that) is to help educate and promote understanding and acceptance of people living on both sides of the issue without judgment or frustration. Because before Mollie’s diagnosis, I was one of those people that just didn’t “get it”. I never gave a second thought to the kind of candy I purchased for Halloween trick-or-treaters, or worried about the open bulk peanut bins at the grocery store, or paid attention to which utensils I used to prepare or serve a meal.

And while I concede that some parents can be a little overbearing about their child’s food allergies (myself included), I have to ask, can we really blame them? If you’ve ever seen your own child swell up beyond recognition or struggle to breathe because a small bite of food, I don’t think you would. I sincerely believe there’s a happy medium out there and I’m on a mission to find it.

Isn’t it Oprah that says “When you know better, you do better?” I love Oprah! And I truly do want to do better for all the little buggers who are out there living with food allergies. So I’m gonna try. Because as much as I used to love to eat peanut butter sandwiches myself, I obviously love my daughter a whole lot more. Is there really a comparison?